Millions of men and women are added to something. This means that there are millions of partners suffering as well. Often, they do not know what to do, how to find and where to find help. Should they accept their partner's behavior or should they push for action? Is it their fault when the partner gives in to cravings all the time? Can they become codependent? Here are a few answers.
Difficult childhood and addiction
Do not think about what you did wrong. The addiction of your partner has nothing to do with you. Of course, you were not always perfect but this did not lead to an addiction. In 99% of addictions the root causes lie in childhood or teenage years. That was long before you appeared in your partner's life. Professional therapists will find out the undercoming reasons and provide effective help.
Your partner feels horrible
Your partner might try to deny it or hide it but probably (s) he feels terrible. Our studies show that almost 80% of addicts suffer from feelings of guilt, shame and low self-esteem. Therefore, you do not need to rub it in. Your partner knows that (s) he is behaving wrongly. The more you make him / her feel bad, the more you'll provoke addictive behavior. It's a vicious cycle.
Yes – you can help
You're a partner, not a psychologist. Therefore, do not try to give psychological advice. Leave that to professional therapists. You can help in other ways, though. Put pressure on your partner. Tell him or her that the situation has become unbearable and unacceptable for you. Threaden to leave without (s) he looks for help. Addicts need that kick … from someone they really love. Make sure you'll also promise full support and affection in case your partner accepts professional help.
Do not become co-dependent
It's never easy but try to keep a healthy distance from your partner's problems. Do not change your behavior, attitudes and daily activities as a reaction to your partner's addiction. Signs of codependency are excessive control, caretaking, denial of the problem, justification of your partner's problems and others. Step out of the relationship if your partner does not look for help immediately. Do not let it destroy your life and do not allow procrastination.
Chances of success are good
Statistics say that more than half of addiction therapies fail. However, the chances of success greatly depend on the patient's attitude. If your partner is convinced about the need to look for help then the chances of a sustainable recovery are much better. Help can be found through counselors and psychotherapists, through specialized clinics, through self-help groups and through self-help programs. The good thing about self-help programs is that your partner can start immediately.