Browsing: Mental Health

Quick Aspects About Applying for an ESA Certificate

If you are in the US, you may have heard of emotional support animal or ESA. An emotional support animal works like a companion animal for people and patients, for offering therapeutic benefits. Usually such animals are either cats or dogs, although a patient can choose other pets. The whole purpose of an ESA is to offer relief and support for disability, psychological symptoms or emotional stress. Check some of the basic facts you need to know before getting an ESA certificate.

The procedure

To get an emotional support animal, you have to check with your physicist to consider the option of provicing verifiable disability, as stipulated by law. Your doctor or medical professional will give a note or a certificate, which will mention the concern disability and the need for emotional support animal that will offer therapeutic care and healing. However, the animal is not grateful a service animal and therefore, there is no need for any formal training. In fact, all domesticated animals, including rodents, birds, reptiles, cats and dogs, can become an ESA.

Why people opt for an ESA Certificate?

Do note that having an ESA Certificate is a matter of choice but should be verified by a physician. If your pet is your ESA too, you can choose to fly with your companion in the cabin of an aircraft. Also, in case you intend to stay in a community, which has a no-pet housing policy, your pet can not be denied admission. However, this does not apply to public entities, such as stores and restaurants. In short, your ESA will be treated as a pet. It is wise to understand that Emotional Support Animal (ESA) is not the same as a service dog because these animals do not work and do not have any special training. Only when a physician finds it right, he will then prescribe you an ESA certificate.

What else to know?

If you have an ESA companion, you will not be charged anything extra for owed the animal, as per US Department of Housing and Urban Development. No initial security deposit must be paid to the landlord, although your landlord may charge an amount for any damage caused to the property at the end of the lease term. Also, one can have multiple emotional support animals, but as long there is adequate documentation to support the same. Your medical practitioner will have to provide detailed information on how each animal can help you with your disability in detail.

There are professional companies, which can assist you in evaluating if you qualify for ESA evaluation letters, but these services are just meant for assistance. Ultimately, only licensed medical health professionals can offer you the certificate on their professional paper. Check online and you can find simple forms that will help finding your qualification. Do not miss on asking the rules and regulations with your doctor in detail. As a pet owner, you have to find the benefits of having an ESA, so that you can exercise your rights.

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4 Ways to Find Yourself and Live a Happier, Healthier Life

Every day we join the grind. We all start off the same, swinging our legs over the side of the bed and going about our current reality – aka our life.

We are the account managers, cashiers, CEO's, moms, cab drivers, bank tellers, and electricians, to name a few, and all we know at that moment is it's go time, and we need coffee. We put ourselves first for probably the only time in the course of a day.

We assume these rolls and they multiply over time like this:
mom / account manager / sister / wife or hedge fund manager / son / chef / boyfriend.

All these rolls come with their own layers and before you know it the person we were just before our feet hit the floor that morning thinking of only coffee is but a small voice buried under the layers.

It's not a thought so much as a given. You breathe in so it stands to reason with no thought that you must breathe out – it just IS.

We as a society, have to a degree, lost ourselves in our rounds and under all of our layers. Not only that thanks to the internet and smart phone technology we can literally NEVER stop working. This takes its toll over time.

Did you know there are things you can do to find yourself again?

Here's 4 ways you can get there:

1. Yoga – this wonderful ancient exercise helps you stretch your body, of course, but it also helps get you focused. Throw your multi-tasking into the garbage pail it's not allowed here! Serenity NOW!

2. Life Coach / Therapist – when we lose sight of who we are sometimes sometimes carry around an unprovoked feeling of frustration even anger. That's your gut telling you what your mind does not want to admit. Getting help to recognize this is sometimes all we need to start in a positive direction.

3. Gym membership – a clear head and the ability and patience to deal with life's every day stress can be alleviated with a good old sweat session. Get those endorphins flowing, clear out the mental cobwebs and know you can achieve / over anything.

4. Disconnect – by stopping the barrage of messages, to do lists, demands and expectations of others you can start to feel yourself again. The world will not stop if you drop out for a week – everything will find a way to get by till you're back – no matter how important or busy your life is.

Life is fluid and forever changing. We as humans are capable of far greater than we attempt in general. It's great to be busy and have a successful career or a big family or both but only if we think it's great, it's worth it and we are able to manage it. When the stress and demands outweigh the rewards it becomes detrimental to you and extremely those around you.

Just like the safety speech they give you on the airplane about oxygen masks. Put one on yourself first or you will not be able to help anyone else!

Take the time to care for you.

Find yourself.

Set goals. Take the first step towards them.

Never stop moving.

Waste not one minute of this precious life.

Sign on country road:

“Nothing to be thankful for? Check your pulse”.

Enough said.

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Acquiring Perfect Mental Health

In order to be mentally healthy a human being must be calm, patient, sensitive, humble, sincere, generous, mature, realistic, and friendly. He or she must have all these characteristics at the same time.

He must be able to end his suffering without abandoning those who depend on him. He must forgive his enemies and help them understand that they should regret. He must help everyone who needs his support.

He must desire to save the world from terror, violence, and immorality.

This definition is different from the definitions of the hypocritical world because it is based on God's guidance.

A mentally healthy person must have the behavior of a saint.

Everyone's personality is composed by many different parts. When a person suffers from multiple personality disorder many of these parts come to the conscious surface and replace their ego because their consciences was completely destroyed by their anti-conscience.

Those who seem to be normal have the control of a big portion of their human conscience. The various parts that compose their personality are not clearly visible in their behavior.

So, when we observe various cases of multiple personality disorder we can see in the conscious surface what exists in the bottom of everyone's psyche.

Many contrasting personality types compose our complex personality. This is why we tend to have a contradiction and absurd behavior that is not congruent with our main personality type in numerous situations.

Our dreams help us recognize the various parts that compose our personality and understand how they influence our behavior.

Some parts of our personality belong to our anti-conscience and have an absurd and evil behavior. Other parts of our personality belong to our conscience. Their behavior is not as violent and immoral as the behavior of the parts of our personality that belong to our anti-conscience, but they are absurd in many ways because our conscience is one-sided and underdeveloped.

Our dreams help us understand how to control all the parts of our personality instead of being controlled by them when they replace our ego.

We have to be serious in order to save and develop our conscience thanks to the information we have in our dreams instead of making tragic mistakes.

The meaning of dreams was distorted by numerous impostors, but my work proves that Carl Jung is the only person who could really decipher the meaning given to the dream images by the unconscious mind, the dream producer. The unconscious mind is God's mind. I continued Jung's research in order to complete his work and show to the world what exists into the unknown region of the human psyche.

Now that we know that there is a demon in our brain we will do everything we can in order to eliminate the demon and become perfect human beings by obeying God's guidance in our dreams and in our religion. God created different religions, different races, different animals, and many other things in order to give us many different lessons.

Now that we know the tragic truth we will stop being naïve and inconsequential. We will be prudent and serious.

Everyone will be very careful because everyone will understand that we are in a dangerous reality and we have to fight a powerful enemy. The fight between good and evil defines our destiny.

Everyone will learn how to attain sanctity and perfect mental health thanks to dream translation. So, we will put an end to terror, violence, immorality, poverty, indifference, cruelty, greed, and hypocrisy.

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A Guide to Help You Choose the Right Psychotherapist

We are all humans with emotions that vary with the situations that we come across on a daily basis. At times we are joyous, and the next moment we witness grave situations that lead to anxiety, depression and stress. Stress is something that is not visible externally as it is a state of mind where things do not seem normal as there is something that is always disturbing the mind and diverting attention from the daily chores that we perform. There can be several reasons for anxiety like loneliness, low self-esteem, loss of a loved one, sexuality, infertility, obesity, etc. which is often a result of the opinion the world has for you.

The role of a psychotherapist

After knowing the fact that it is our life and we are to love it the way we are and be comfortable with it, people like to live with the terms and conditions that the society puts across and no one can control that. This is when a psychotherapist steps in with practical solutions to get rid of the emotional problems that a person faces. The therapist would make use of logical methods that is likely to convince someone after a few sessions to deal with the problems. People get to accept the fact that such troubles are a part of life and one has to deal with it by being a sport especially when it comes from a stranger who is not likely to take sides and help with dealing it in the right way. People get to realize that change is something that would solve a lot of problems that people face when traumatised.

How do you make a choice?

Before you settle on a psychotherapist to help you out, you are ensuring that you come across someone who would help you with effective results and not any random person claiming to be a professional while while away the time that you book for a session. Here is a guide to help you through to make a right choice.

Get to know their qualifications

Coming up with effective solutions and therapies for people suffering from anxiety and depression is not a cakewalk. It requires the right education and knowledge on dealing with human psychology and understanding the exercises that different people have. You are to know about their qualifications and accordingly analyze the fact wherever they are the right people to approach.

Check on their approachability

You can not often open up to someone who has an opinion of their own and is not interested in listening to your side of the story and accordingly analyzing it. A psychotherapist should not be biased and should be an open slate where you can put down your points and accordingly come up with a solution without having an opinion. This is often a setback for people who are depressed as people do not tend to understand their state of mind while having an opinion.

Check on their experience with dealing with problems that you face

It is essential for you to be clear on your mental state and accordingly put it across to the therapist. The therapist should have prior experience in dealing with such mental conditions and should have a history of efficiently solving such problems. You would not want to waste your time and energy on someone who has no idea on how to deal with your mental state and letting you come out of it.

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The No.1 Mistake Successful Business Professionals Make That Destroy Their Health & Happiness

It may surprise you that one of the most common behavioral changes I work on with my clients concerns productivity and planning. As a wellness coach, the battle cry I hear most often is “I do not have time to take care of myself.”

If you feel that there are just not enough hours in the day, it will seem like a tall order to fit in exercise, cook healthy meals, get enough sleep, and manage your stress.

So it's useless to talk about any of that if we do not first talk about managing your time. And the first step towards managing time is learning to plan. Having a consistent time of the week and a regular system to plan your schedule is critical.

Once you have those in place, you are well on your way to becoming an excellent time manager. And it would seem that if you are good at time management, you'd be able to find the time for self-care. So why does not this work? Why is it that so many people, even those with very good time management skills, struggle to consistently partake in the activities that lead to a healthier life?

It's because, energy management, not time management, is the key to extraordinary results in everything you do!

If you do not have the energy to get through your day, it does not matter how great you are at time management. You'll burn out and will not be able to apply those skills and follow through on your intentions.

So, if you want to master energy management, self-care needs to be one of the very first things you schedule on your calendar each week.

We get our energy from fueling ourselves with nutritious foods, exercising and moving our bodies consistently, and getting enough sleep. Taking time out to enjoy life refuels our tanks too! That is, spending time with family and friends, engaging in hobbies we love, and participating in spiritual practices such as church or temple-going, meditation, or even being out in nature.

Sadly, the number one mistake even highly successful business professionals make is to shove these activities to the bottom of their daily to-do list; they only get to it if they can squeeze it into their already jammed-packed day. A steady diet of this habit, and you are on a path towards exhaustion, lack of focus, frustration and burn out.

However, if you learn to schedule self-care first, before filling up the other hours in your day, and stick to that plan, your energy and productivity will soar.

When you sit down to plan and schedule your upcoming activities, the first things that should get blocked out are the non-negotiable standing appointments or time frames that you can not change.

For you, that may mean being at an office 9-5 Monday through Friday, driving the kids to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and attending soccer practice with your child on Saturday mornings. For me, it's all my standing weekly coaching appointments, my once a month networking meeting, and Saturday date night with my husband. Those are the things that you are responsible for and are not willing to miss.

Next, it's time to fill in self-care: how many days a week do you want to exercise? Three, four, every day – it does not matter. That's your choice. Look at your weekly calendar and schedule those appointments into your week. Do not forget to take into account travel time if you go off to a gym or exercise studio.

Now, look at your day-to-day schedule. When is the best time to break for lunch? That may be a consistent daily time, or it may vary depending on your work and lifestyle. But schedule it! Block out at least 20, preferably 45-60 minutes, to eat a healthy lunch. Taking a brief break and fueling your body and brain properly mid-day, will allow you to manage your energy and your time. Both your productivity and your mood will improve.

Brainstorm all the other self-care activities you want to include in your week. Want to meditate a couple of times a week? Schedule it. Are you overdue for medical check ups? Make those calls and get those appointments on your calendar right now. If you've been missing time with your best friend, text him or her saying you have an opening in your schedule for lunch on Monday or dinner on Tuesday night.

I think you are getting what I mean. Look, it's quite simple.

What does not go on the calendar, does not get done.

One more word of caution – stay flexible. Sometimes, even the best-planned schedule gets thrown off course by the unexpected. When that happens, the key is to reschedule what just got knocked off your day immediately. Move that appointment to another time, even if it's your lunch break or workout.

I am challenging you to give this a try for the next couple of weeks. I know that once self-care is on your calendar, you will be feeling calmer, healthier, and more productive every day. You will be an expert in both energy management and time management. All it takes is scheduling self-care first!

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Stress and Mood Swings Can Lower Life Expectancy

Stress is an inevitable aspect of life. A wide range of internal or external factors may trigger stress affecting mood, self-esteem, sense of well-being, behavior and physical health. A certain amount of stress is part of a normal life. However, if it persists it is a matter of concern.

If left unchecked, what might start as a short-term frustration could eventually progress to a long-term agony. Some life-threatening effects of long-term stress are hypertensive, obesity, cancer, diabetes, stroke and heart attack.

Life span is linked to DNA

Recent studies have shown that prolonged exposure to interminable stress in life can result in severe damage to critical parts of the DNA, which in turn may lower an individual's average life expectancy. Those experiencing chronic levels of stress run the risk of shortened telomeres, which are cap-like structures at the end of each strand of DNA to protect the chromosomes. The resulting damage infected on these telomeres causes errors in the way DNA instructs cells to behave. Here, their length is directly linked to life expectancy.

One of the major outcomes of eroded and shortened telomeres is a higher risk for genetic mutations in otherwise cells and genes. Such an unusual rupture of the genetic code increases an individual's susceptibility to cancer and many other life-shortening diseases along with an overall poor physical and mental health. In addition, repeated stress also interferes with the body's immune system. With a compromised immune system, the vulnerability to a variety of infections increases, making it difficult for the body to combat diseases, including cancer.

Depending on individual coping strategies, genetic predispositions and overall health conditions, there is sufficient research-based evidence to prove that accumulated stress coupled with fluctuating mood swings can actually reduce the life span by as much as four to eight years.

Handling stress effectively is the key

According to the findings of a study by the American Psychological Association (APA), the nationwide average stress levels are on the rise since 2014. Here are some ways to reduce stress in both the short- as well as long-term:

  • Participating in physical activity: Doing exercises, such as brisk walking, running, dancing or yoga, on a regular basis can metabolize the excess stress hormones in the body.
  • Seeking social support: Talking is an outlet to release the piled-up emotions and tensions. Sharing one's feelings with others can help reduce stress to a certain extent.
  • Finding time to laugh: As the saying goes, “laughter is the best medicine,” it certainly helps alleviate some of the stress as the brain is linked to emotions and facial expressions.
  • Taking control of situations: Learning new strategies to find solutions to the problems that may seem unsolvable on the surface can lower a lot of stress.
  • Practicing meditation: Practicing some form of mindfulness can help the body release many stress-related negative emotions and relax.

Way forward

Any kind of stress can make life hell. But there is hope, provided the symptoms are not ignored and acted upon at the right time. Medication and support can go a long way in changing negative thought patterns that develop as a result of stress for anyone suffering from any sort of mental health problem. But when it comes to patients with a prolonged stressful condition, recovery may take a little longer time than usual.

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How To Protect Your Mental Health

The human conscience can distinguish the difference between good and evil. The anti-conscience can not see what is good. It always interpreted everything based on evilness. Its thoughts always are selfish and related to the material reality.

Both consciences are working in your brain simultaniously. You believe that you are the same person either you use your conscience or you think based on your anti-conscience, but this is not true.

In your dreams the movement your ego makes from one conscience to another appearances when you go up or down. When you go upstairs you go to the region of your human conscience. This means that you think based on human standards. When you go down you go to the dangerous region of your satanic anti-conscience, where you think based on absurdity and evilness.

The constant influence of your anti-conscience is represented by your mother. Whenever you have dreams about your mother this means that your anti-conscience is influencing or controlling your mind and your behavior.

You have to be afraid of your anti-conscience because its intention is to destroy your conscience and replace your ego. However, your anti-conscience is your evil self. You believe that your evil self helps you in many ways, and that it defends you from your enemies. This is a misleading impression, but you trust your evil self more than anyone else.

You believe that you need an evil self because you do not want to be foolish. You want to be smart and take advantage of all the opportunities you may have to live better. You also believe that your evil self helps you understand who is evil, while this is not true.

Therefore, you are a perfect victim to your satanic anti-conscience. You listen to its evil thoughts as if there was something useful in them.

Depending on how much you will pay attention to these absurd and evil thoughts, you will lose more or less consciousness.

You must learn how to identify all the signs of evilness in order to have a clear mind and think based on justice.

Your anti-conscience makes you believe that there is no difference between good or evil. It transforms everything into the same thing, as if there was no difference at all between good and evil.

You become more insensitive and more idiotic as you follow the absurd ideas it sends to your conscience, but you do not understand this fact.

Your dreams help you stop being a slave to your anti-conscience and develop your conscience. Your evil self disappears as you develop your human side through dream translation.

While you are alive you have to understand that without goodness everything is false, empty, and dangerous. This philosophical comprehension is indicative for the salvation of your conscience. Otherwise, it will be destroyed by your satanic anti-conscience.

However, you are easily misled by the impression that evilness is smarter than goodness. You do not think about the consequences of your mistakes. You do not take your spirit into consideration. You do not believe that there is life after death.

You make many mistakes.

When you accept evil thoughts as if they were useful you believe in delusions, but you do not understand this fact. You believe that what is false, empty, temporary, and dangerous can make you happy.

You are alive in order to discover that goodness is indispensable in life, and cultivate goodness in your heart. However, this comprehension can not be imposed. You have to understand this fact by yourself.

This is a difficult matter when you tend to think based on the evil thoughts of your anti-conscience and you believe that you have more advantages when you are selfish.

You do not believe that selfishness is evilness, but when you are selfish you think only about your own interests. So, you do everything you can to protect and achieve your goals, without caring about justice.

You may try to justify your actions based on an 'individualistic justice', but your definitions do not change the evilness existing in your thoughts and actions. You give many excuses to yourself.

You tend to add good characteristics to what is bad because this is convenient for your ego and your anti-conscience suggests this convenient distortion.

Your dreams help you stop making this mistake. You must learn how to clearly recognize what is bad in order to protect your conscience.

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6 Myths About Mental Illness and Facts Behind Them

Did you know that every 1 in 4 adults sufferers from a psychiatric or mental disorder, and that 6% of those have a lifelong condition?

The World Mental Health Day is behind us. Its main purpose is to raise awareness about mental health issues and destigmatize the people who have mental disorders. Yes, destigmatize, because there are still parts of this world where mental disorders are shameful and visiting a psychiatrist, psychologist or psychotherapist feels like the worst nightmare.

Thanks to several factors, many mental disorders are not taken seriously both by the people experiencing them and the people around them.

For instance, untreated anxiety can become agoraphobia, an anxiety disorder characterized by symptoms of anxiety in situations when the person perceives the surroundings as unsafe and not easy to get away from.

This stigma is closely tied with discrimination and discrimination is powered by myths. This is why I have decided to make a list of the most common myths regarding mental illnesses, to shed some light on the truth behind them.

Myth 1: Parents Are the Only Ones Responsible

In most cases, especially if it is a child who has some mental illness, you will hear people saying that it is the parents' fault. If the parents would have been better, the child would not have these problems. This is our myth number one. In my humble opinion, it's the one that will be with us for many years to come.

This myth completely ignores nature vs nurture studies that have been generated in the past decades. How we think and what we feel is a bit more complicated. It can not be explained by just one factor, our parents. If science does confirm the relationship between nature and nurture, this may cause serious problems.

Myth 2: Mental Illness Affects Very Few People

As I stated at the start of this article, there are a lot of people around the globe who are affected by some type of mental illness. In fact, according to the World Health Organization, 1 in 4 of us is going to experience a mental or neurological illness at least once in a lifetime.

It can affect anyone, it affects people of all ages, income and education levels, and it is not something that is specific to a culture or a continent.

Myth 3: Mental Illness is not a “Real” Illness

Do not confuse mental illnesses with regular ups and downs everyone experiences now and then in their life. The names and description of mental illnesses may have changed over the past years, but the symptoms and their potential severity did not.

Keep in mind that these are real health problems that have been recognized long ago and experts have effective treatments. By labeling it as non-real, people are usually expecting it to go away on its own. It is as real as a broken bone . Would you allow someone with a broken bone to avoid seeing him doctor and would you deny them or her any help they might need?

Myth 4: Mental Illness is nothing more than Personal Weakness

It is of great importance to know to tell the difference between personality traits, character flaws and mental illnesses. A personality trait is a characteristic that is distinct to an individual. A character flaw is something that can affect actions, motives and the social interactions of a person. And, it is also a distinctive characteristic. All of these will not prevent a person from function well enough in life.

On the other hand, mental illness is a health condition and it has nothing to do with personal weaknesses. According to the American Psychiatric Association, it implies changes in thinking, emotions or behavior, or any combination of these three. And, a person that suffer from them will usually experience distress or problems functioning in their family, social and work activities. Seeking help and accepting it can only be a sign of strength, not a personal weakness.

Myth 5: Mental Illnesses Make People Dangerous and Violent

The survival instinct has been part of our beings since the beginning. In order to survive, we have to be able to predict violence and quickly react to it so that it can be avoided. Psychologists have been on the quest of identifying predictors of violence, and after a dozen studies, they have come to a conclusion that mental illnesses are not good predictors of violence. They are either necessary or insufficient causes of violence. Of course, there will always be isolated cases.

In fact, studies show that there are far more mentally ill people who are victims of violence than the ones committing the violence. The major determinants of violence remain the same through the years: social demographic and economic factors.

Myth 6: People with Mental Illness Should not Work

This one is wrong. Very, very wrong. There are cases all over the planet where governments have specifically designed plans in place to help people with mental illness with finding jobs. This includes even the patients with the most severe mental disorders. With modern medications and therapy, almost all the symptoms can be controlled until the person fully recovers from the mental illness.

By condemning the people with mental illness a chance to work, we can push them further into isolation and deny them something that can be very helpful in their situation, work therapy .

These are just a few of the myths about mental illness that we as a civilization have so carefully constructed. But to what cause? Did we create something better? What people fail to realize is that covering their eyes before the truth only leads to more problems that further complicate the mental disorder and make the mental battle harder than it should be. These are some difficult questions to answer within the span of a single article, so I suggest that anyone who is interested in broadening their knowledge on this topic go out and do some additional research on their own.

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Transitions: The 3rd Inevitability (in Addition to Death and Taxes!)

Over the years, I've discovered there are few among us who embrace transitions. I'm not one of them.

Just ask my husband.

For sometimes the first ten years of our lives together, when we vacationed overseas (before the aid of the Internet to illustrate the sort of place we were headed to), I've come exhausted, hungry, not yet adjusted to the time change another transition), and would typically find myself utterly disappointed with our choice of accommodation and / or locale.

While busy drowning myself in tears on the nearest pillow, as if on cue, my dear and very loving husband would begin phoning every (even higher end) hotel in the vicity to inquire about any possible last minute availability.

And, just as inevitable as my disappointment and tears, was the answer, no, there were no other options open to us. In other words, I just had to suck it up. Damn.

The point of this story, however, has not yet been made.

The very next morning, as was usually the case on all other first mornings on these sorts of holidays, I'd wake up feeling hopeful after a good night's sleep and would enthusiastically sweep the drapes as well as witness paradise right in front of my eyes.

All the disappointment from the night before washed away within seconds, and I was convinced that I could not have been happier anywhere else on earth.

Yes, I, too, feel for my poor husband, and despite this experience continued (until the Internet arrived), I was unable to believe that this time it would all work out equally well.

I was convinced it would not. But it always did.

So my point? No, I'm not bi-polar. I just do not do transitions very well.

Not all of my transitions are so dramatic (or, ahem, so childish), but the truth is it typically takes most of us a bit of time to adjust to new circumstances.

Whether we're talking about …

adopting new habits;
moving to a new city (or new location within the same city);
beginning a new school year, or leaving university and moving into a new career;
experiencing the empty nest (well, to be honest, in my case, there was at least some degree of glee combined with my sadness);
joining a new fitness class; Egypt or even
adjusting to new seasons of the year …
Transitions require both patience and trust that we'll be okay once we're on the 'other side' of them.

Of course, there are much harder, and more painful transitions that face us all at some point or other, like loss.

Loss through death, divorce, distance, or illness are extremely hard to transition through, and for some of these kinds of loss, the pain associated with the 'transition' can continue for a lifetime.

However, these are not the kind of transitions that I'm referring to today. I'm simply aiming at the ones that cause us some degree of discombobulation, an unsteadiness for a few days or even weeks, and a separation from what we've known, the comfortable – even if it was uncomfortable in some ways.

Inevitably, we adjust and transition past the change, and whatever we're facing becomes our new norm. And usually all is well once again. Until the next transition …

It's not to say that I do not like change, or even spontaneous change. I do. I search for change, and reach for new challenges all the time: new projects, new experiences, meeting new people, discovering new theories to aid in my work as a psychotherapist.

I love 'new'. Eventually.

So, in other words, the uncomfortable transitions that are sometimes directed in change do not stop me from pushing past them in order to create a more fulfilling life experience. In fact, if I find myself in a rut, even a comfortable rut, I get bored, and that state is, for me, far worse than the uneasy angst that I get from reaching toward something new.

The reason I've decided to write about transitions is because I listen to clients share on a regular basis how much they dislike them, and if that's also true for you, I'd like to console you by saying that it's perfectly normative to feel this way.

Most of us do.

But, in the end, I'd like to encourage you to let yourself experience the uncomfortable transitions that you may face as you add 'newness' into your life in whatever form you choose.

Invariably, they'll keep you feeling more youthful, stronger, more excited about life, more interested – and interesting – than if you were to back away from relocating into the person you were meant to be.

If you're about to launch into a new transition, hang on to yourself through the unsteadiness, and let me know how it goes when you 'land' on the other side!

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When the Opinions of Others Matter Too Much

From the moment we're born until the day we die we are continuously absorbing messages that tell us who we are, what we're worth as human beings, what we should be doing at any given time, how we should look (and especially how we should not look), what we should eat, what we should buy, what activities or careers we should or should not engage in, and so on.

Opinions come from near, they come from afar, but for sure, they come, and they never stop.

So it's no surprise that by the time we're in our 40s or 50s, the stereotypical desire to 'find ourselves' begins to settle in. In other words, many of us have been so influenced by 'outside' statements through our lives that we've literally lost touch with the only opinion that really matters: our own.

A day does not go by in my role as a psychotherapist where I do not witness the incredibly painful impacts the opinions of others have had upon my clients.

Many of them have sent their lifetimes seeking to gain approval or recognition from others, even sacrificing their own sense of self-esteem, and worse, self-respect, to do so.

When we're young, we live in fear of being viewed as 'different', as an 'outsider', or even more terrifying, as a 'weird' outsider and, unfortunately, not much changes as we grow up. Most of us still try to live within societal expectations, as well as family expectations, in order to fit in, and often once we do, we find our life does not bring us much authentic joy or happiness.

But once we realize that, do we step out of that framework and commit to being 'our own person'?

Rarely. Most people continue to live in fear of not fitting in, not being accepted, and not being approved of by others.

In my youth, I spent more than two decades struggling off and on with an eating disorder, and the root of it? Well, the messages that I received from both 'near and afar' about how I should look as a young woman.

It was a painful struggle, and it was at the time when few people (even doctors) understood eating disorders. In fact, when I bought help from my family doctor after losing a tremendous amount of weight, his eyes widened with interest, and he asked if I would be willing to share my secret with him because he needed to lose some weight, too.

Yes, mind-blowing, indeed.

At the time, eating disorders were generally written off as an odd, or even 'neurotic' behavior (or as an envied skill, as per my doctor). Perhaps I was neurotic, but that's identical another issue!

But for sure, in the absence of framing eating disorders within a sociological context, we certainly would not be able to understand why thousands of women (and many men) suffer from this devastating, and often fatal, disease.

We live in fear of not adhering to the status quo, to the prescriptive demanded of us to look a certain way. And, in the end, those who struggle with eating disorders let the opinions of others matter so much that they literally put their lives at risk to fit in.

Of course, eating disorders are only one example of the ways in which people will adhere to the opinions of others (again, family, friends, and the wider society), but there are many, many more examples, and even more insidious ones when they are rooted in every day decisions.

A few examples include:

The student who will not raise their hand in a class (from preschool to university) because they fear that others might ridicule them for not knowing the answer to the question (s) they may have; the isolated person who will not join in with others who share similar interests because they fear being judged by them;
the person, who's earned a reputation as the 'go-to' for any number of favors that are requested by 'friends', who can not say no to any of them for fear they will no longer be liked; and,
the person who works an intolerable number of hours in a job they hate because they did not want to disappoint their status-oriented parents by telling them that they had another career aspiration, but one where their parents would not need to obtain the 'bragging' rights they currently experience.
I can think of a thousand more ways where we acquiesce to outside forces due to fear, and lose ourselves in the end; I'm sure you can, too.

So what to do?

Well, to simply say that you need to stop doing that NOW is to minimize the fear that's been driven by all the years of 'giving in'. It's not easy to change our old ways, or old fears, even though they may be causing us a lot of pain. We tell ourselves that at least it's the kind of pain we're familiar with, so in a crazy sort of way it makes pain somewhat easier to live with.

Often, when we contemplate changing, we fear consequences that we predict will be far worse than the pain we've learned to live with then far. So, to just 'jump' in and say “to hell with everyone, I'm going to live my life by my own set of principals” is somehow the most way to go about it, although it is most certainly the goal to aim toward.

Changing typically begins with small steps toward a healthy direction that include courageous daily actions that will give precedence to what's important to you, rather than someone else.

And, as I mentioned in the beginning, if you're someone who's spent a lifetime focusing your attention on others to gain approval and recognition in order to feel good about yourself, you may not even know what's really important to you.

In this case, you'll have to spend some time focusing on getting to know yourself in order to understand how to answer that question.

An easy way to begin is to take an assessment of your life to see where you're satisfied but, more importantly, where you're not. And, if you're not, why not? Is it a result of giving too much credence to the opinion of others? Has your life, or parts of it (small or large) been sacrificed to gain the approval or recognition of others? If so, what do you need to do to reshape those parts so you can feel more in charge of creating the life you want?

Taking small steps to change will be far more sustainable in the long run than rushing forward in haste to make large decisions in order to change everything right away.

In time, everything may change, but give yourself the space to make solid decisions that will result in you building a stronger sense of self, and the kind of self-esteem that you continuously bought from others through your entire life but were never successful in hanging onto for very long. In the end, you'll discover that self-esteem is a gift we can only give to ourselves, and the person we become in the process of this courageous journey is who we were really meant to be.

So begin freeing yourself from the opinions of others by taking your own small steps toward positive change.

Let me know how it goes by leaving a comment below.

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How To Avoid Logical Traps And Prevent Mental Illnesses

Dreams are warnings, lessons, information about hidden dangers, and future predictions that try to protect our conscience from the attacks of our anti-conscience.

We must identify ourselves with the conscious human being created by God in our satanic brain.

Our human conscience disagrees with the intention of the demon, since we do not want to live in terror. We want to find happiness and we want to be good.

However, our conscience believes that we can be happy when we mix what is good with what is bad, what is a huge mistake. This is why our anti-conscience easily misleads our ignorant, deficient, and idiotic conscience with its logical traps.

In order to avoid falling into numerous traps we have to follow God's guidance in our dreams and respect our religion.

God gave us scientific knowledge in order to be able to explain why our reality is so dangerous and how we can protect our conscience.

Many people seem to be good because they have a strong conscience and their anti-conscience is buried in the depth of their psyche. They had a good education and they did not have traumatic experiences. They have everything they need and a good social position.

They are protected. Their ego is satisfied. So, they are satisfied. In this situation, they seem to be human beings.

However, those who live in poverty and have serious traumatic experiences acquire a severe mental illness like multiple personality disorder and one of their personalities becomes a murderer, while the other ones ignore what it does.

How can someone kill another person? This is not a simple matter, especially because they have to hide their crime.

This is not a problem when we are controlled by our anti-conscience, since it works like a professional murderer. It knows how to kill its victims and hide their bodies. It does everything the right way from the beginning to the end because it is a vampire.

God created many wild animals that imitate the cruel behavior of our anti-conscience to show us how terrible violence is, but we are different to this fact because we have a satanic nature. We believe that this is how everything must be, without being intrigued with the cruel battle for survival in our planet, where one animal kills another.

Whenever someone is completely controlled by their anti-conscience they automatically have the behavior of a cruel murderer.

Until today we believed that only some people were mentally ill, but today we know that this is not true. Everyone is mentally ill from birth because everyone inherits craziness into the largest part of their brain.

Some people have a strong conscience and good life conditions, and this is why they seem to be reasonable according to the justification of the ignorant population of the barbarous modern civilization.

However, even those who seem to be almost saints fail when they are tested. If they will fall in love with a married person, or if they will have the chance to steal a lot of money without being discovered they will forget their moral principles and have the cruel behavior of a demon.

A person can seem to be good for years and years, until a fatal event will change their personality. Their anti-conscience will take advantage of this event to influence their decisions.

The elimination of the anti-conscience is indicative, either someone has mental health problems or not. Nobody knows when they will be tested, and everyone is tested at a certain point because we are here in order to be transformed into true human beings.

We must prove that we really are human when we will be tested in order to eliminate Satan and attain higher consciousness.

However, our anti-conscience never stops trying to impersonate our consciousness into its logical traps.

This is why we must learn how to avoid all traps through dream translation, until we will completely eliminate our satanic anti-conscience and attain sanctity. In the beginning this is hard, but it becomes easier with practice.

At least we have this solution.

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Find Out How Gardening Improves Mental Health

Looking for reasons to spend more time with your new found love, your garden? Here is one-gardening can enhance psychological wellness. So, whether it's nervousness or incidental dejection that is bothering you, you can shoo it away with a little soil on your shirt.

'The Conversation,' a non-profit, independent media outlet which utilizes content sourced from scholarly and research communities, some time back led a survey the results of which affirm that spending time in the garden lifts one's state of mind. This survey conducted with some 269 gardeners demonstrated that a significant dip in tension, anger, depression and other negative emotions takes place when a little time is spent in the garden. The study additionally maintained that people, who engage in regular gardening, experience a boost in their self-esteem too.

Various journals including 'Psychology Today' fortify this with results from other significant studies done in the same field.

So here, it gets out-and-out clear that popping a pill is not the only answer to a depressed life. A couple of hours spent in the sun amidst colorful butterflies, bugs and beautiful plants with flowers and leaves rustling in the wind are sufficient to make you feel emotionally light and better.

Even if you are not too much of a depressed soul and what others are you is a little occasional anxiousness, you can use gardening to your advantage and calm your nerves. All you need is to spend some time fiddling with the plants in your garden and you will notice a sea change in how your body responds to anxiety-causing situations. Gardening helps ease anxiety by keeping your mind hooked on the present. Quite obviously, when your mind is not constantly on that procrastinating mode, a ton of psychological issues get addressed, naturally.

Even individuals with uncontrolled anger can pacify themselves with the help of this amazing outdoor activity. All they need is to slash a few random branches off the trees, cut back pointlessly growing vines, pull out weeds and they can have their anger dead and buried. You may get as much destructive in your garden as you want but make sure the destructive mode you are on, does not cause any damage to the plants in your garden, regardless of how furious you are.

So, clearly gardening is the panacea for all psychological sufferings. But have you ever wondered how gardening does all this? One of the most obvious ways in which gardening is able to support emotional well-being is by giving control. Pondering what control? It's the control that you observe when you decide on the location of your garden, what plants grow in it, the time they get watered or the height of the soil beds. There are people in the world who feel overwhelmed or get depressed by the mere realization that nothing in their life is actually under their control. Having a garden in possession, where they can take care of the plants that they have grown on their own, offers them the control they, otherwise, find lacking in their life. This feeling of control boosts their confidence in an incredible way.

Beside, a couple of hours of sweat in the garden can bring to anyone a good night's sleep.

You need more motivation to say 'yes' to gardening? Well, it cajoles you to work. When you do physical work, your body cortisol level plunges and feel good hormones like serotonin and dopamine rise. As a result, you experience a feeling of well-being when you toil in the garden. And who would mind that one-to-one connection which gardening helps develop with the nature?

For individuals, who are new to gardening or are apprehensive about letting others know about their garden spree, getting the campus walls raised remains the best alternative. This way, neighbors and passersby will not get to see your work or its outcome.

Gardening, without a doubt of doubt, is an awesome recreational activity and no, you will not have to start big. Begin with a couple of hanging pots and you can gradually work your way up. Trust me! Reuniting with the nature is not just fun but also remedial in its truest sense.

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Are You Caught Up in Super Woman Syndrome?

Did you ever hear the old song “I'm a Woman” written by songwriters Leiber and Stoller and sung by Peggy Lee? How many of us are still trying to be the “super” woman she sang about back in the 1960s?

I'm a W- OMA N

I can rub & scrub this old house till it's shinin 'like a dime
Feed my baby, grease the car, and powder my face at the
same time
Get all dressed up, go out and swing til 4 am and then
Lay down at 5, jump up at 6, and start all over again
'Cause I'm a woman! WOMAN, I'll say it again …

Superwoman Syndrome is exactly what it says it is-a person who tries to do everything and be all things to everyone, all at the same time. There are many women (and men) today who are struggling to juggle, family, career, home and social activities. Are you one of them? If you are, most likely you are feeling over committed, overworked, overwhelmed, guilty, and too exhausted to do justice to anyone or anything.

The term superwoman was created by author, Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz who wrote the book, The Superwoman Syndrome, published in 1984 “for women trying to do it all.” Superwomen always put others first and tend to set standards that are far beyond reasonable. They measure their self-worth entirely in terms of their tangible accomplishments and how productive they are. They keep adding more responsibilities and roles as if “more” somehow makes them better. On the other hand, there are women who are only handling one role but are obsessed with doing it perfectly. Either way, these Superwomen are stressing themselves unnecessarily and have lost touch with the joys of living. Those who are setting and relentlessly pursuing impossible goals are inevitably headed towards underlining both their physical and mental health.

Who are the Superwomen?

Superwoman Syndrome can affect anyone. Despite varying in intensity, it affects women at different ages, at different career stages, and at different economic levels. They are mothers, working professionals, educators, college students, community organizers, activists, volunteers and socialites. Young girls and college-aged women are becoming more and more intolerable because they are increasingly pressured to excel in school, sports, looks and relationships. Some reports show that girls as young as 13 suffer from Superwoman Syndrome.

Super women are good people-they are highly responsible, duty-oriented, and have a strong desire to give to others and to do what is right. Even though they willingly carry huge loads, they are generally unhappy about their situation and how they are living their lives. Not only are they feeling burnt out and exhausted much of the time, many of them must also cope with the unlending claims of insensitive employers, grueling deadlines, lack of insufficient childcare resources and non-supporting spouses. Not seeing any way to lighten their loads, they often feel trapped and secretly resent others who have been able to escape from the relentless demands being made on them.

Recovering from Super Woman Syndrome

For over-committed, over burdened people, living a simpler life seems like an impossible goal. But regardless of how easy as it was to become a Superwoman, it is just as easy to stop being one. It starts with a conscious choice to get off the treadmill.The following are a few questions you need to ask yourself.

• Why am I able to say no to others?
• Who put me in charge of the world?
• What is taking on more and more duties and responsibilities doing for me?
• Are there other people who can share some of these responsibilities with me and am I willing to ask them?
• What am I really willing to let go of and delegate?

If you are truly to overcome the “I am responsible for everything” attitude, it is imperative to examine and re-define what you are truly responsible for and what you are not. There are other steps to be taken as well.

Give Up Perfectionism – Unless you are Martha Stewart or are planning to entertain the Queen, your house does not have to be spiffy and neat 24 hours a day. Neither do all your meals have to be perfectly balanced among the four main food groups-an occasional pizza or bag of burgers is not going to cause malnutrition.

Learn to express yourself – It is important to be able voice your thoughts, feelings and beliefs without anger, feeling defensive, or being disrespectful of the rights or opinions of others. By being more assertive you will find it easier to say no and to stand up against those who pressure you into doing what serves them and not you. If you find this difficult or impossible to do, consider taking an Assertiveness Training course.

Build a Support System – Having a network of understanding and support people is particularly important. Surround yourself with positive people and as much as possible, avoid the advice givers, those who use guilt to control you, and those who think you should solve all their problems.

Brainstorm Your Options – Even if you think you have run out of options and there is no way out or any way you can think of to lighten your load, the truth is there are always possibilities. Are you absolutely certain you have thought of everything? Two heads are better than one, and several heads are even better at solving problems and generating ideas. Seek out others in similar situations who are managing to live their lives well and ask how they doing it. They may offer solutions you have never considered or resources you never even knew about.

Let Go of Problems That Are Beyond Your Control – When our world is spinning out of control our natural inclining is to hang on tighter. Some things are simply going to be out of your hands no matter what you do, so stay focused on what you can control, not what you can not.

Most important of all, allow yourself some down time. Get your hair done, schedule a massage, go shopping and treat yourself to something you really want. Have coffee or lunch with friends; read a good book. The mental rejuvenation you feel is worth far more than any time you think you may have lost.

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Identifying Ambient Abuse

The scars you can not see are the hardest to heal. ~ Astrid Alauda

Niccol Mach Machiavelli wrote in his classic political treat The Prince, “It is much safer to be feared than loved.” This Machiavellian ethos is a tactical blueprint for those motivated to strategically exploit and utilize love and compassion to ensure dominance and control. This insidious form of stealth psychological abuse is known as ambient / covert abuse and gaslighting. Ambient abuse is mystifying and amorphous and since difficult to identify and diagnose, which makes it all the more perfidious and damaging.

By fostering a dependency that creates a power differential, the ambient abuser imposes s / he possesses great insight, which will assist the targeted victim in her growth and well-being. The ambient abuser ostensibly only wants the best for the target. The ambient abuser behaves altruistically, concealing the underlining motive to get the upper hand. The ambient abusers' appearance of benevolence, honesty and generosity is seductive and disorienting the target and asserts in ensuring the necessary leakage needed to 'manage' the target and diminish her self worth.

When conflict emerges it's an opportunity for the ambient abuser to deny wrongdoing and assign responsibility for the alleged infraction to the target. The seemingly well-intentioned ambient abuser may 'selflessly' point out how the flaws and shortcomings in the target are responsible for instigating the dispute.

George K. Simon Jr., wrote (In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People), “Playing the victim role: Manipulator ports him – or herself as a victim of circumstance or of someone else's behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people can not stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on sympathy to get cooperation. ” Hence, the target, naturally inclined to believe that the ambient abuser is fundamentally ethical and that cooperation and compassion are collective moral imperatives, yields to what s / he assembles will be a collaborative effort to work through difficulties. The ambient abuser capitalizes on this pre-disposition.

Should the target dare to question the stealth abuser's intermittent barbs and disparagement, further distortion ensues. A disorienting narrative unfolds in which the target is held liable for questioning motives and doubting the sincerity of the abuser. This scenario involves the target being convinced that in fact it is s / he who is abusive and irrational. Alternately the ambient abuser may initially prepare to concede and acknowledge 'their part' so as to strategically reassure the target. In due time the ambient abuser will reaffirm the target's unreasonable 'misconduct' denying it ever disputed responsibility at all.

These myriad tactics deployed by the ambient abuser are known as gaslighting. False information is manufactured and certainly presented to the victim, so as to make her doubt her memory and / or perceptions.

As this recurrent circuitous dynamic persists greater frequency and intensity of gaslighting occurs. Inevitably the target is pummeled into silence and cognitive dissonance. She succumbs to the coercion, believing it is her paranoia and / or unhealed afflictions and flaws, which cause her to be so egregiously and are responsible for igniting relational difficulties. She begins to doubt her sanity.

Quite the corrosive impact of ambient abuse results in the target losing sight of who she is. She is bewildered as to what defines her reality, and comes to view herself as inherently defective. Her sense of personal agency has vanished. Bouts of emotional flooding vacillate with episodic dissociation. S / he is fearful, paranoid, and marginalized. At this point the bond between abuser and victim is characterized by Stockholm Syndrome; a pathological infantile attachment in which one's tormenter is perceived as one's redeemer.

While anyone can fall prey to ambient abuse there are certain hits that can make one more susceptible to being targeted and victimized.
• Those who are overly responsible and conciliatory and who tend to confuse compassion with guilt are ripe for manipulation as they are conditioned to defer their authority
• Those with poor interpersonal standards and low self-esteem have a high threshold for abuse and a willingness to ignore mistreatment.
• Those who are exceptionally lonely may act out of despair, not discernment
• Those who are controlled by their emotions throw precaution to the wind
• Those who seek approval seek redemption through others
• Those with poor boundaries let others in intensely and pre-maturely
• Those who hide by naïve notions of Universal goodness in all people

Unhealed adult victims of child abuse are particularly at risk, as their instincts are impaired, self-esteem is damaged, and they are habituated to surviving through subjugation. Locked in survival fears, the untreated victim of early abuse has a tenuous self-identity and hence she is a malleable narcissistic extension. Subconsciously unhealed survivor of early abuse may be seeking the mythologized deified parent, setting her up to be swept up by whomever presents himself as the embodiediment of the wished for caregiver.

Learning how to protect one self by seeing through the smoke and mirrors of seductive charm is key to thwarting the stealth advances of an abuser. In a world rife with plastic shamans, dangerous 'healers', corrupt corporations and politicians, predatory clergy and toxic families, it is imperative to be intelligently guarded. This means healing from relational traumas and cultivating a strong enough ego and sense of self to not be swayed by deceptive platitudes and accolades. It means formulating a balanced and realistic understanding of human nature inclusive of the potential for evil.

A biblical proverb states, “Above all else guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Protecting one's heart is an act of self-love and it is only through formidable self love can one paradoxically discern and defend against the nefarious forces, which threaten to eradicate one's truest Self.

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Can a Professional Counsellor Help?

The demands of the modern world impacts on the lives of almost every human being across the planet. It is little wonder that more people than ever are finding the need to seek the help of counselers.

They find that they are unable to express their true thoughts and feelings to their family members or close friends. Sometimes because of the fear of ridicule. Sometimes that all all will hear is “pull yourself together”. It is enough to throw them into further depths of anxiety and depression.

Recent studies have shown that people are seeking advice from trained individuals. To help with problems such as personal relationships, self-awareness and sexual pressures etc.

The problems in most European Countries is finding trained practicers. A person just needs to put a sign on their door to practice counseling. They do not need formal qualifications.

Perhaps the fear of being branded mental, prohibiting people turning to the family general practitioner. Even they may not have had any formal training in mental health matters.

Unfortunately, professional associations are known to the health industry. But they do little to advertise themselves to the general public.

Then, if discovered, a person is subject to a bewildering array of different types of therapy. So much so, that an individual who is feeling that they want and need to talk with someone is even more confused.

The world is a complicated place. With an individual exposed to over 20,000 advertisements every day it is even more complicated. This is before we take into consideration financial pressures. The average person feels impossible even if they are not. But, messages in the mind, often make things appear worse. All adding to the pressures of life.

Listening to bad economic news or told that millions can not pay their rent or mortgage. Then there are those who exist by visiting food banks. This can actually make a person, who is not subject to these things, feel depressed about their own situation.

So, in their hour of need they ask: – “What is Professional Counseling?” “What is its potential in my situation?”

Counseling is a term that covers the whole range of the Talking Therapies. Therapies that cover every negative facet of modern-day living.

The first check that should be made is the Counselors professional training. Both academic and practical. They should belong to a professional body. An organization that ensures that they are bound by an ethical framework. This guarantees their good practice and professional conduct. The seeker will find counselors both in self-employed and employed practices.

A counselor will help their client explore and understand their emotional problems. In talking through a problem, they help them to realize that effective change is often in their own hands

It is well-proven that talking to a counselor is a successful way of combatting pressures. Even those that have built up over time. It is particularly useful when confronted by redundancy, divorce, or bereavement. Counseling can help other personal matters that include bouts of depression or anxiety.

A counselor will never offer any medical advice. They may suggest that the client needs to seek the help of their family medical practitioner. Without, of course they have had the necessary medical training. Training that allows them to be registered as a medical practitioner.

It is often true that bouts of stress and anxiety are welcomed on by events that happened years before. These can go back to even childhood if they were not successfully deal with, at the time. Bullying or abuse can lie dormant for years. Brought to the fore by a trigger with often devastating results.

What must of course be accepted is that a counselor can not fully deal with everything. Quite often during the first meeting a counselor will tell the client that they recommend them seeking the help of their doctor. Or even though, an alternative therapist in their own practice who has the greater or different skills needed to help the client.

Above everything else a counselor will offer a client a safe, comfortable and confidential environment. A place where a client can relax and talk about their innermost fears and feelings. They will be skilled in building an atmosphere where the client is able to talk probably as they have never been able to talk before.

It is said that Rome was not built-in a day and just like Rome, there is no magic silver bullet. A client may have a problem that is deep-seated and may have foundations from their childhood. No councilor will ever offer over-night success. But, what they will also never do is to just keep a client returning when there is no need.

Although appearing to establish a friendship a counselor will never build a personal relationship with a client. There will always be a boundary which can never be crossed. A client is to walk away with an enhanced self-image and a feeling of well-being not a growing social circle.

Everyone should seek to find out as much as possible about the counselor. This can go as far as seeking their qualifications and training by way of the Internet. It is quite common for a counselor to invite a client to ask questions of them. This is a first stage to establishing a therapeutic alliance. Some councilors will give the client a questionnaire. The client should not be shy in doing the same in reverse.

As stated at the start of this article unfortunately in the main there are no legal requirements before a person can call themselves a counselor. But, you would not go to a garage if your television had broken down. So you should never accept a counselor at face value. Unless they are able to prove through their training their ability to offer to help people. At a time when it is perhaps their darkest hour of need.

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