When asked “What is a Psychopath?” most people imagine an ax wielding lunatic with a glazed look in his eye (usually a “him” not a “her”) or a notorious serial killer, predatory child molester or dangerous unstable stalker. The truth is, despite the above mentioned people usually are psychopaths, the majority of them do not kill anyone and are not criminals. This is not to say they are not dangerous, because they are! Very!
They are predatory and the destruction that cause their victims is unimaginable to most people. Victim risk losing the things most dear to them amid continuous and progressive emotional trauma and even risk losing their lives.
They have a complete incapacity to feel guilty and therefore regret nothing. Their lack of conscience means they do exactly as they please regardless of the consequences for others and they do not feel empathy, can not see things from anyone else's point of view and do not believe there is anything wrong with the way they have behaved.
However, they do know what the difference between right and wrong is according to society.
They become extremely good a copying and acting out others expressions of the emotions that lack and use these to convince people very effectively that they are good and caring, sincere and generous members of their community, all of which are the complete opposite of the truth.
On the surface they appear charming, clever and witty. They are very likeable and good at conversation. They are popular.
Psychopaths, Sociopaths, Narcissists and other sufferers of cluster B personality disorders, as they are called, exhibit similar traits:
Deceit and manipulation
The belief of superiority
Preoccupied with power and success
Need constant stimulation and excitment
Early behavior dysfunction
Exaggerated or invented achievements
Demanding constant praise
Believe they are special
Do not acknowledge the emotions of others
Expect others to cater to their demands
Express disdain for others
Jealous / envious
Unable to maintain long term relationships
Fragile self esteem
They are shallow and totally self absorbed and their actions are intended to achieve their own aims alone. Whatever they do, they do it for themselves or in the belief that it will benefit them. They see others as tools to be used for their gain and their children are simply possessions like we see a TV set or a car. They are incapable of empathy, feel no remorse ever and their actions demonstrate this.
They are extremely good and convincing actors and expert manipulators, crazy makers and pathological liars. They have no capacity for empathy. They lie even when they have nothing to gain by it. They leave a trail of destruction where they go and leave anyone unlucky enough to have been involved with them with debts, a broken heart and bewilderment and wondering what hit them. They are never at fault and blame others for anything and everything that does not go right!
They project, that is to say they will project onto you or someone else, their own shortcomings and accuse you of the evil acts they, themselves have committed. Everything negative they do or are the cause of will be blamed on you and they will tell whoever will listen the details of whatever you are blamed for and how awful it is to be with such a horrible person as you. People will believe him and you will not know about it till its too late.
They become expert at mimicking emotions whilst unable to experience these themselves and then convincingly act them out and use them for manipulation. They are capable of loving anyone despite brilliant at convincing you they are.
They attempt to make you sympathetic towards them using stories of an abusive childhood, a wicked ex, terminally ill relative or anything they can think of that might stir your emotions
Although some sociopaths undoably do kill people, most do not. However, they do lie, cheat and steal while maintaining the appearance of model citizens with graces and unpredictable behavior in social situations. They are really convincing actors.
They often choose professions such as police, doctors, lawyers, cult leaders, military, entertainers, business men, social workers, politicians, etc. professions of power and control. If they break the law, they rarely get sentenced and therefore do not go to prison. They are just as evil, manipulative, callous and abusive as the average psychopathic serial killer but their intelligence, social skills and faked charm keep them out of reach of the authorities and the courts so they are not brought to justice.
Have you ever been involved with someone who, at first, is very charismatic and charming and exciting to be with? Did they appear to be intelligent, solvent and successful? Who bombarded you with compliments, gifts and attention? Did their actions reflect honesty, sincerity and generosity? Did they appear to be successful in their job or career? Even providing credentials to “prove” it? Did they seem too good to be true?
Did you then start to see strange things about him that did not quite add up? Inconsistencies and conflicting statements and when asked about these he will not give you a satisfactory answer and accuse you of being distrustful and paranoid?
Did they maintain a fixed look at you when talking? Did they encourage you to isolate yourself from friends and family? Did they declare undying love very quickly and want to get married or move in together?
These are all early warning signs and anyone who sees them in someone they are getting involved with should be very careful.
It is estimated that 1 to 4% of the population suffers from one of these disorders, that is 1 to 4 in every hundred people. The majority being male. It therefore goes without saying that a great many children are born to these people.
Having children with these people will almost certainly lead to years of problems and issues without the sociopath decides to abandon the child.
By far the best income for the child is if the mother is left alone to cope and bring up her family by herself. The worst, on the other hand, would be if he decides to use the child / children as weapons in order to perpetrate abuse in a continuous and ongoing battle. Also it is more likely the child could turn out to be a sociopath as well due to the sociopath parent trying to create a “mini me”.
Sociopaths are indeterminate to the welfare of children, including their own and see them as an inconvenience. Neglect often places children at risk and babies are left alone, with strangers or inappropriate people. They are not fed or clothed neatly.
It often appears to people on the outside that the sociopath takes good care of his children while they are really manipulating them for their own purposes or using them as tools to perpetrate abuse, for financial or other gain. Often certain behavior is required or certain achievements but these are for the benefit of the sociopath not the child. Children will have no concept of what is normal due to the inevitable emotional abuse infliced on them.
The sociopath will deliberately try to corrupt a child through inappropriate and dangerous activities, such as pornography.
Many sociopaths appear to be respectable, and find it easy to convince family courts that they are good parents and should have all parental rights.
Courts seem receptant to accept that a parent may be a sociopath and is dangerous to the child. The healthy parent who is forced into a co-parenting arrangement with a sociopath can expect to be abused.
For the sake of mental health, maintaining as little contact as possible is paramount, modifying the bare minimum of information about the child with the disputed ex-preferably by e-mail. If the child must be delivered for contact, the parent should be accompanied or should ring the doorbell and then wait in the car.
The sociopath should never be allowed into the home for any reason and should not be given any information about the family. The sociopath father will try to hurt the mother through the children and she should document everything that happens.
BASIC RULE – might help to lesser abuse:
No contact – do not talk to him / her on the phone, do not send, open or reply to mail, no messaging or texts, no cards, letters or packages